I am not a strong swimmer. When I was younger I remember going to the lake with my sisters and being dunked underwater. The idea that I could drown was planted in my head at that moment. This thought has stayed with me most of my life, keeping me out of deep water and preventing me from learning how to swim until my late 30s.
Thoughts are powerful. They can cause you to take action or keep you stuck. Your thoughts affect your self-esteem, your relationships, and your ability to show up as the best version of yourself.
A simple practice I use with clients to battle negative thoughts is daily affirmations. Affirmations are positive statements that can boost your confidence and help you to challenge self-sabotaging thoughts. A daily affirmation practice has the power to rewire your brain and improve your mindset. It might sound far-fetched but there is neuroscience to back it up.
How it works: By the time we become adults, our brains stop forming new neural pathways naturally. Our thoughts and habits become default responses and can be much harder to change. (Harder, but not impossible.) Utilizing daily affirmations is like going to the gym for your mind. The daily practice helps develop new neural pathways and a new (more positive) default response.
Choosing an Affirmation:
STEP 1: Identify the areas of your life where you are lacking self-confidence. If nothing comes to mind, keep a mental journal for a day noting each time you use the phrase, “I should…” The word should is an indication of self-judgment and will help you identify areas of self-doubt.
STEP 2: Write down the negative thoughts that come up for you when you think about that situation or area of your life. Get them out of your head and onto paper.
STEP 3: Consider how you want to feel in that situation or area of your life. Choose an affirmation that is the opposite of the thought or belief.
Let me give you an example: If you are afraid to go after your dream life, consider what would it feel like to not be afraid. Maybe it would require you to feel brave or courageous. So, you might choose one of the following affirmations: I am brave. -OR- I am courageously pursuing my dream life.
Here are some of my favorite affirmations (in case you some inspiration):
I am worthy of love and affection.
I am stronger than my fears.
I am living my dream life.
I am a strong and capable mother.
I am not afraid to start over.
Using Your Affirmations:
Write your 2-3 empowering "I AM" statements on a notecard or post-it note. Then display them on your bathroom mirror and look at them every morning for at least the next 7 days. Practice saying them out loud - even if you don't yet believe them. (This might be difficult at first, but it is part of this growth process.) The small act of looking in a mirror and speaking affirmations to yourself can result in a major shift in your mood, outlook, and confidence in your own abilities.
Give it a try over the course of the next week. Pay attention to your inner voice and see if your daily redirection has a positive impact on your thoughts and feelings.